Secrets...

So, yesterday I put on the mantle of silence. It worked. Listening is hard work. Today, my boss sat me down and told me I need to talk more with her. When I shared this with my friends and husband they asked if I was screwing up at work. That got a big, fat NO. I'm doing well at work. The problem is I internalize everything and feel that any snafu, my fault or no, is somehow a failing on my part. Now, I've got to re-learn how to function in corporate society. I've always been in places where I was responsible for my own knowledge, and as I'm a self-learning type, that works for me. That is not the culture of my present job. My boss is nervous because I don't talk to her enough. She said, in fact, that she sometimes forgets I'm there because I'm so quiet! That was my biggest laugh today. No one has ever accused me of being that quiet.

Balance, balance, balance. When I do talk at work, which feels like a constant as it is a byproduct of the job, people ask if I've ever considered radio. And if they're feeling really mischievous, they ask if I've ever considered doing phone sex for a living. Yikes! Now, I do always say I have a face for radio, but phone sex? Come on! My attention span is WAY too short for that. Guess it's nice to know I have a fall-back if this burgeoning career falls through. Phone sex...

I wonder if that's why my characters have such interesting lives. So far, on the outside they are innocuous women no one would ever suspect of being anything other than teachers, moms, or otherwise. These women are dark horses, be assured. I doubt I'll ever write a phone sex suspense, but it does sound like one for the "think box." What makes a character for me, fiction or otherwise, is that deep secret that becomes unveiled at the right moment. Like finding out your best friend for years was a champion ballroom dancer decades ago. Yep, that really happened. I already loved her, but I gained a new level of respect for her many talents.

Confession time... What are your secrets?