29 May 2010

One Fell Swoop ...

In one fell swoop, my life has changed. Didn't I say this a few months ago? Nevertheless, it is true. This afternoon I had the opportunity to listen to voice mail I received Thursday morning. Yes, I'm a tad behind. Hopefully, that gives you an indication of the kind of week this has been. It was graduation, my friends threw me a surprise going away party and I completed my last day of work at the school -- hence the going away party. Really, all those transitions were plenty for me to manage today. My goals were simple -- turn in what needed turning in, and avoid tears at all costs. Submitting my materials was easy. I've been ready. Since I'm not a crier, I didn't expect the tears to be an issue, and they weren't at work. It was when I finally returned home and checked the voice mail that I lost it.

Please, someone tell me how you respond to a message heralding an impending death? My friend, who has been ill, called and left a message to let me know she should be dead by Saturday. Tears sprung to my eyes as I realized that today is Saturday. She asked me to please check the obituaries so I would know when her service would be. I want to be there -- even if that means putting off my vacation for a couple days. It seems that the good people die young while the bastards of the world live on to make life as hellish as possible for the rest of us. What is important to note is that her life was not for naught. Without her influence, I would not be the lady I am. I would be less willing to embrace growth opportunities and still be steadily beating up myself for every mistake I make. I would not have had the courage to hold up my head through the loss of my job. I would have only been able to view this change as negative instead of seeing it as a chance to stretch my legs and skills in order to find something more suited to my passions and aptitudes. Via con Dios, Rose. Please rest in peace, free from pain and wrapped in love. Thank you for everything!