TSTL

Think about it for a moment. What do those letters mean? Is it another stupid acronym that will mean nothing to you tomorrow? Gosh, I hope not.

For those outside the romance writing world, TSTL means Too Stupid to Live. Lest anyone take offense, I'm not talking about anyone in particular -- or at least not you in particular -- unless, of course, you fit the criteria. One of the things writers rage against as they put pencil to paper is creating a heroine that makes the reader want to thrust the book at a wall and stomp on it madly. I sure as heck don't want my readers to get their sole pleasure in reading my work to come from a not-so-random act of violence committed against the paper and binding. Sometimes, though, don't you meet those people, the stupid ones I mean, and wonder how in God's name they survive from one day to the next? I know I do. And I would love to gloat and count myself amongst the intelligent ones. Those famed few who never fall prey to making the wrong decisions or hurting people because they are not grown up enough to do the right thing in the first place.

But I have to confess here and now. Today, and I am sure there are more days in my future, I joined the ranks of idiocy. You know what's terrible about the "dumb club" is that they're always looking for new members. Their list is never too full. Wouldn't it be great if there was a cap? Sorry, Elayne, we're too full this time around, so you're going to have to make the right choice, do the right thing. Unfortunately for me, no one says this aloud. And I've gotten so good in my old age at stomping down the still, quiet voice that I can numb myself to right and warmly embrace wrong. An old friend of mine would call this a case of loud and wrong. What's interesting about loud and wrong is that it's not an all or nothing deal. For example, I could be 90% right in my anger, frustration and motivation, but that leftover 10% can and WILL screw me every time. What's a girl to do?

We rage against these people when they show up in books. And God help us if they pop up on-screen. Been to a movie lately and screamed at the hussy who decided to run from the monster deep in the woods armed with nothing but her good looks, skimpy lingerie and some damned high-heeled shoes? Who does that? We get upset because it is so clear what they ought to do. Take off the flippin' heels, put on some damned clothes and don't trip over the tree roots. See, that was easy! But how hard is it when you're confronted with Mr. Right Enough and Mr. Right On? How much more difficult is it when it's about keeping your temper or flipping out because someone dared show fallibility?

For you aspiring authors, this is the tip of the iceberg. I promise. Your characters will do something so stupid you will want to give them a boot to the head. Guaranteed! The people you love will fail and hurt you so badly you will want to abdicate from the human race. The question is what are you gonna do about it. Will you be smart enough to trust that the people in your life, be they tangible or fictional, will do what is right? Or will you be like me, lining up in the ranks of the TSTL? As Captain Planet would say, "The power is yours!"