Not much time left at the present job, and I am so happy. The pressure to finish all my tasks in time so as not to leave my esteemed colleagues holding the bag is immense. Something I've learned from blogging is how public it is. Yes, I know I put myself out here. I have no intention of going back to my little box, but I feel like I've left my butt flapping in the wind. Kind of reminds me of the time one of my friends paraded through church with the back of her skirt tucked into her pantyhose. I had no idea of her plight because she and I were walking side by side, but her embarrassment when someone righted the situation still haunts me. So much so that I never leave the lavatory without making sure that all my business is covered. But once the world has seen your behind, it's too late to cover it. So I will plunge ahead -- glad that I have no shame about that aspect of self. I guess it's good that everything I've spewed here is true.
On the writing front, I'm feeling pressured to produce. I'm a committed participant of the KIA Marathon over at RWA Online. What I do or fail to do impacts my team's success. It's not a competition against the others, but more of a challenge against my will, my laziness and a chance to demonstrate to myself the level of commitment I have to my craft. Tonight I wrote, and in all honesty, I could write more but am afraid. Bet you knew that was coming. I don't want to write crap. I want to be happy when I open the doc tomorrow, so I will stop while I'm ahead. Told you I'm a chicken.
The day's been long. Filled with baking, observing and working, so I am off to bed with a GREAT book, The Alchemist. It's been a while since I've felt able or even worthy to read the book. Please, if you haven't read it, do. It makes me want to revert to childhood. In a good way! Children know what their dreams are. They don't allow themselves to be constrained by the slavery of shoulds or can'ts. Children dream unabashedly, unashamedly, without fear. That is how we are supposed to be! Living without fear, not merely existing because existence is the easiest course of action. So I will revisit childhood dreams, weep for denying them a fair chance and working to create sense from the senseless.
What did you want to be as a child? Who did you want to be? And what's stopped you from doing it?
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
A collection of random thoughts that either can't or won't fit in whatever project I'm working on.
Technorati
About Me
- Elayne
- I try to be as boring as possible...Great hook for a blog, eh? I pay for cable so I can watch BBC. If I'm not writing, I'm reading, editing, re-writing...You get the picture. I'm one of those nutcases who actually enjoys shoveling snow and mowing the lawn. I must really like school too because I'm going for another Master's degree. This one is about honoring the person I was created to be. Join me for an interesting ride!
4 comments:
First, if people are offended by the site of your blogging ass, as it were, fuck em. You're writing YOUR truth. You never claimed anything else.
Second, I always wanted to be a spy. It seemed a dead sexy career path, even as a six year old.
"So much so that I never leave the lavatory without making sure that all my business is covered."
I love the way you talk/think. :D
"Living without fear, not merely existing because existence is the easiest course of action."
That is so true...wow, I need to read that book!
Thanks, Kay, for your unending support. I LOVED the postcard by the way. We all got a good giggle from it :) And I am so with you on wanting to be a spy. That's still a fantasy of mine.
Anon 1, I hope you got a giggle! And may you never go anywhere "uncovered." :)
Anon 2, the book is beyond awesome. It's one of a few I buy all the time to give away. Warning, you must be brave to read it and prepared to be open to the idea that you may have room for improvement. Trust me when I say it takes a long time to get brave enough for a re-read. I wasn't lying about being a chicken. When you read it, please come back and share your thoughts. I'm curious to a fault!
Post a Comment