Good times

It's official. Yes, I know I gave my notice a while ago, and Friday was my last day at the job but it didn't feel real until last night. An amazing send off with some of the best people in the world. And hey, there was karaoke involved. Can you tell me what would have been better? Actually, there are some things that could have been pleasant additions, but I'll keep those to myself -- fodder for the fiction. So after a great night out, why the hell did I wake at 7:30? The weekend is for sleeping and being lazy, yet I sprung from bed like I had somewhere to be. The real shame of it is that 7:30 is sleeping in for me.

Usually, I'm moving too fast to see my morning as anything more than a blur. Today, I remember my first thought. It's over. Are any of you performers? You know that feeling you get when you're waiting in the wings. Trapped between wanting to chicken out and being so excited that if you were a puppy, there would be a big ole wet spot in your seat. That's how I feel right now. Why? I have a manuscript in the hands of an agent. I am no longer a full-time employee for anyone or anywhere. And in 2008, I will be a licensed teacher. Parents will put their children in my trust and expect me to give them something. I keep wondering what will happen when I get my class. Will I stand in front of a room of freshmen and totally forget why I'm there?

When I subbed last year, except for when I was in the elementary schools, I didn't actually teach. And I never worked in my content area. When I finish this degree, students and their parents will have the right to expect me to know what I'm talking about. One thing I am immensely grateful for is the amazing set of colleagues I've met in class. All of us aspire to be in the classroom working with secondary level students. Most of us will do really well, too. I just wonder how many of my mates are sitting around with their stomachs churning. Waiting in the wings, as it were.

But it's definitely good times. My friends can hear the lightness in my voice when I talk. My best friend told me I sound the best I have in months. So much for me trying to ride undercover. I tried so hard to keep my shit storm from raining on those around me. Guess I'll buy everyone bigger umbrellas next time. Yeah, there will be a next time because there will always be people in the world who will work to screw you over even as you're trying to keep your head above water. It's all good though because I needed the reminder to take care of me. I was being everything for everyone but Elayne. My martyrdom ceased at 5:00 last Friday afternoon.

Okay, I'm off to write and finish off my breakfast of onion dip and potato chips. I'll be back, and I'll try to sound as elated as I feel. Tell me, folks, what do you do to take care of yourself?