Behind the mask....

So here I am again, not feeling so funky but still only part of myself. The good thing is that I'm back in my space. In my happy world and I feel safe and happy. I'm also a bit more rested and have eaten, so I'm more sane. At least more so than yesterday. The highpoint of my day was lighting a fire in my little fire pit. I will admit that it took a while to get the fire started, and I was frustrated. Fires don't start easily--you have to nurture the flame and coax it to life. They don't tell you that when they ship the box of firewood to your house.

I have a stack of cherry and apple wood in my backyard. When it's lit, the smell is intoxicating. The fact that it took me forever to light the fire is a moot point. I love fire. The way it glows, the way each blue-orange flame licks against wood. It's beautiful. I watched the flames dance for a while, drinking wine and enjoying the bitter cold of a winter night. Night is absolutely still. I couldn't see the moon, don't even know if there was one tonight. The starlight was fascinating, though. All the constellations are shining. Orion, my favorite, was a bit east of my house. I love Orion because it is multi-faceted--the belt, the entire layout is just amazing to me because none of the stars are fighting for a place. Each is content to fulfill their given role.

Today, the book is working a lot better. I removed some of the heartache--for now. I'm one of those evil authors who likes to send the character to hell before letting them get a glimpse of heaven. Life is like that, though. Things are going beautifully and then you get a phone call or a surprise bill that knocks the wind out of your sails. But even when life takes you to a valley moment, you can still see the sunrise. Likewise my heroine gets a splash of pleasure with her pain. She and I are getting along quite well. I will write the rest of this chapter and move into the next. I'm trying not to edit right now--something totally against my nature--because the story just needs to get on paper.

Overall, the week wasn't terrible. I mingled with reality, wrote my syllabus, cleaned closets and put the turkey in the fridge to thaw. What more could a girl ask for?