Gone so long...

Wow! Time flies when you're having fun. Isn't that what they say? I don't know if it's fun I've been having or what, but the time is moving like nobody's business. I figured since I haven't been here in ages that it would be good to reconnect, to stretch my writing fingers. Friday, my house will be packed--at least they'll start the process. And a few days later, I'll be in a new place being a whole new me. I'm so excited and nervous about everything! I just haven't been able to complete my current story. New ideas keep popping in my head, which I write immediately. I do a few paragraphs a day on it, though today has been MUCH more productive. No matter what I do on this story, I keep thinking it's all crap. Probably, I'm just being a typical, ar-teest drama queen. That's how I felt when I started this book. Then I gave it to some awesome critiquers (they were awesome before they read this piece, trust me) who thought my story was fabulous. Obviously, I'm not a good judge of my own work.

Today I received my feedback and scores from a writing contest I entered in November. I knew I hadn't finaled, but I was curious to know what non-biased readers thought of my story. Maybe I'm weird, but when I learned I hadn't placed in the top three, I assumed that my scores would be abysmal. I was prepared for the absolute worst. What I ended up receiving was far from terrible. Out of four scores, two were perfect, one was terrible and one was good. Not bad for a virgin entrant. Believe it or not, I'm excited about sending thank you notes to each of the judges. Not only did they share of their time, but they gave me perspective, which in the writing business, is invaluable.

I finished judging the entries I had from the Golden Heart today too. Scores submitted, and I'm done. Talk about an adventure. I am still so new to the professional writing arena. Still learning the rules and sadly botching a few now and again. Reading from a judge's point of view gave me quite a bit of insight into my own writing. Now I understand editor and agent responses to the flood of queries that cross their desks. I know how important it is to grab someone's attention and keep it from one sentence to the next. This is different from what I do when I critique someone else's work. When I critique, I do read critically, but at the same time, I'm trying to figure out how to help the writing improve. As a judge, my focus centered on the professional presentation of a marketable product. Certainly, the ends of both processes are the same, but the means are worlds apart.

All of the entries were polished in terms of punctuation and grammar, which was a huge relief. When I read editor and agent blogs, I'm often surprised by correspondence they receive that is poorly presented. Yes, some of us do write as pure hobby with no concern for publishing. But for people who would go as far as trying to win an agent with a sloppily done introduction letter or ill-formatted manuscript, their intent is more than a pleasant diversion. I guess that's why I can't understand not putting one's best foot forward. At any rate, I didn't have to deal with that. Each of my entries showed a lot of care behind the work. There were times as I read that I wanted to slip into critique mode. I wanted to make a suggestion here or there to make the stories stronger, or close a plot gap. Things that people have been so generous to do for me as I've worked at my craft. But I couldn't. I had to try my best to don an editor's cap and look at the work as something my livelihood depended on. If that doesn't put it into perspective, I don't know what will.

Can you imagine having to choose the right book or mix of books to put on the market? It may sound like fun, but when I think about it, my stomach churns! It reminds me of when I thought being the President of the US would be fun. Older and hopefully wiser now, I know that I wouldn't want that kind of responsibility--EVER! Okay, so editors don't have the weight of the world on their shoulders, but their choices influence culture, which in turn changes the way people interact with each other. Man alive! No matter how I slice it, the job sounds huge to me. Being a judge in this contest reminded me of how one person can touch another's life from thousands of miles away. Makes me feel big and small at the same time.

I know some of the entrants will be disappointed when the scores are released in late March. They have sent their best work in, and it may come back with less than stellar marks. Honestly, everyone who entered knew that there was a better chance of losing than winning. In fact, the people who final will likely amount to a little more than one percent of all the entries. Just like all of us who are in the query rush. The Bible says, "It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Insert a wannabe published writer for rich man, exchange publishing for kingdom of God, and you've got the jist of the publishing arena. With odds like that, it would be easier to quit or at least find a profession with a better success rate--like teaching wild rabbits to parachute. The problem is, I'm not good at quitting. What can I say? I'm a first-born, and some words are not a part of my vocabulary.

Right now, it's easy to be the optimistic cynic. We'll see what happens when March 26th rolls around. Until that time, I'll focus on moving into a new place, finding a job that will blossom into a career and writing out my characters' stories as they share them with me. That sounds like enough to keep me busy for a lifetime--or twenty some odd days.