In less than six hours the movers will be here to pack up my life. I have worked all day, washing laundry, arranging rooms and making things tidy so their work will go quicker and my day will be less stressful. Unfortunately, to do all this I haven't been able to go to bed. I sent the DH and children away so they could rest and be ready for appointments and school, respectively. I decided to take a break and reassess what's been done and what yet needs doing. My friends offered to help, which I would have gladly taken them up on if only I knew what I wanted done. Yes, there's a master plan, but having done this moving business more than a few times, I know it's the little things that trip you up. No matter how I try, how many lists I write, I know I will either forget something or remember way too much.
I can see it now. My car piled to the ceiling with crap that would have been better left behind. And most of it won't necessarily be mine. How does that happen? I have to admit though, I did pack my garment bag full of underwear. As long as I've got clean undies and a toothbrush, I'll be okay. Must have books too. Can't live without them. And my toolbox, and my battery charger because I refuse to be a damsel in distress. I just wasn't cut out for that role. Think all that will fit in my trunk--with the case full of intimates? I'll have to give my little car a deluxe oil change after this trip.
On the writing front, things have been wonderful. I'm so close I can taste it. My characters finally had sex. They tried to months ago, but the hero's daughter came home sooner than expected. Isn't that always the way? Being me, I had to put them through hell before I could give them a glimpse of heaven. Kidnapping, a break up, the reappearance of the ex-wife and much, much more kept this couple out of the bedroom. Then, they got engaged. Awww... Now that they've done the deed, I wonder how their relationship will change. I don't see anything huge on the horizon. They are very steady, these two, but one never knows with my characters. Every now and again, they do the damnedest things. Keeps me on my toes.
Guess I should go back to work. Did you hear that? It was a great big, fat, hairy sigh. I don't want to do it! I don't want to do any more laundry or dishes or dusting or anything that doesn't involve crawling on the floor with a blanket and pillow and going to sleep. This is where I remind myself to be grateful. If I didn't have a home, food or clothes, I wouldn't have the opportunity to take care of my things. Off to be a good steward. Next time you hear from me, I'll be writing from my home on wheels! Woo hoo! I'm counting down in earnest.
26 February 2007
21 February 2007
Gone so long...
Wow! Time flies when you're having fun. Isn't that what they say? I don't know if it's fun I've been having or what, but the time is moving like nobody's business. I figured since I haven't been here in ages that it would be good to reconnect, to stretch my writing fingers. Friday, my house will be packed--at least they'll start the process. And a few days later, I'll be in a new place being a whole new me. I'm so excited and nervous about everything! I just haven't been able to complete my current story. New ideas keep popping in my head, which I write immediately. I do a few paragraphs a day on it, though today has been MUCH more productive. No matter what I do on this story, I keep thinking it's all crap. Probably, I'm just being a typical, ar-teest drama queen. That's how I felt when I started this book. Then I gave it to some awesome critiquers (they were awesome before they read this piece, trust me) who thought my story was fabulous. Obviously, I'm not a good judge of my own work.
Today I received my feedback and scores from a writing contest I entered in November. I knew I hadn't finaled, but I was curious to know what non-biased readers thought of my story. Maybe I'm weird, but when I learned I hadn't placed in the top three, I assumed that my scores would be abysmal. I was prepared for the absolute worst. What I ended up receiving was far from terrible. Out of four scores, two were perfect, one was terrible and one was good. Not bad for a virgin entrant. Believe it or not, I'm excited about sending thank you notes to each of the judges. Not only did they share of their time, but they gave me perspective, which in the writing business, is invaluable.
I finished judging the entries I had from the Golden Heart today too. Scores submitted, and I'm done. Talk about an adventure. I am still so new to the professional writing arena. Still learning the rules and sadly botching a few now and again. Reading from a judge's point of view gave me quite a bit of insight into my own writing. Now I understand editor and agent responses to the flood of queries that cross their desks. I know how important it is to grab someone's attention and keep it from one sentence to the next. This is different from what I do when I critique someone else's work. When I critique, I do read critically, but at the same time, I'm trying to figure out how to help the writing improve. As a judge, my focus centered on the professional presentation of a marketable product. Certainly, the ends of both processes are the same, but the means are worlds apart.
All of the entries were polished in terms of punctuation and grammar, which was a huge relief. When I read editor and agent blogs, I'm often surprised by correspondence they receive that is poorly presented. Yes, some of us do write as pure hobby with no concern for publishing. But for people who would go as far as trying to win an agent with a sloppily done introduction letter or ill-formatted manuscript, their intent is more than a pleasant diversion. I guess that's why I can't understand not putting one's best foot forward. At any rate, I didn't have to deal with that. Each of my entries showed a lot of care behind the work. There were times as I read that I wanted to slip into critique mode. I wanted to make a suggestion here or there to make the stories stronger, or close a plot gap. Things that people have been so generous to do for me as I've worked at my craft. But I couldn't. I had to try my best to don an editor's cap and look at the work as something my livelihood depended on. If that doesn't put it into perspective, I don't know what will.
Can you imagine having to choose the right book or mix of books to put on the market? It may sound like fun, but when I think about it, my stomach churns! It reminds me of when I thought being the President of the US would be fun. Older and hopefully wiser now, I know that I wouldn't want that kind of responsibility--EVER! Okay, so editors don't have the weight of the world on their shoulders, but their choices influence culture, which in turn changes the way people interact with each other. Man alive! No matter how I slice it, the job sounds huge to me. Being a judge in this contest reminded me of how one person can touch another's life from thousands of miles away. Makes me feel big and small at the same time.
I know some of the entrants will be disappointed when the scores are released in late March. They have sent their best work in, and it may come back with less than stellar marks. Honestly, everyone who entered knew that there was a better chance of losing than winning. In fact, the people who final will likely amount to a little more than one percent of all the entries. Just like all of us who are in the query rush. The Bible says, "It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Insert a wannabe published writer for rich man, exchange publishing for kingdom of God, and you've got the jist of the publishing arena. With odds like that, it would be easier to quit or at least find a profession with a better success rate--like teaching wild rabbits to parachute. The problem is, I'm not good at quitting. What can I say? I'm a first-born, and some words are not a part of my vocabulary.
Right now, it's easy to be the optimistic cynic. We'll see what happens when March 26th rolls around. Until that time, I'll focus on moving into a new place, finding a job that will blossom into a career and writing out my characters' stories as they share them with me. That sounds like enough to keep me busy for a lifetime--or twenty some odd days.
Today I received my feedback and scores from a writing contest I entered in November. I knew I hadn't finaled, but I was curious to know what non-biased readers thought of my story. Maybe I'm weird, but when I learned I hadn't placed in the top three, I assumed that my scores would be abysmal. I was prepared for the absolute worst. What I ended up receiving was far from terrible. Out of four scores, two were perfect, one was terrible and one was good. Not bad for a virgin entrant. Believe it or not, I'm excited about sending thank you notes to each of the judges. Not only did they share of their time, but they gave me perspective, which in the writing business, is invaluable.
I finished judging the entries I had from the Golden Heart today too. Scores submitted, and I'm done. Talk about an adventure. I am still so new to the professional writing arena. Still learning the rules and sadly botching a few now and again. Reading from a judge's point of view gave me quite a bit of insight into my own writing. Now I understand editor and agent responses to the flood of queries that cross their desks. I know how important it is to grab someone's attention and keep it from one sentence to the next. This is different from what I do when I critique someone else's work. When I critique, I do read critically, but at the same time, I'm trying to figure out how to help the writing improve. As a judge, my focus centered on the professional presentation of a marketable product. Certainly, the ends of both processes are the same, but the means are worlds apart.
All of the entries were polished in terms of punctuation and grammar, which was a huge relief. When I read editor and agent blogs, I'm often surprised by correspondence they receive that is poorly presented. Yes, some of us do write as pure hobby with no concern for publishing. But for people who would go as far as trying to win an agent with a sloppily done introduction letter or ill-formatted manuscript, their intent is more than a pleasant diversion. I guess that's why I can't understand not putting one's best foot forward. At any rate, I didn't have to deal with that. Each of my entries showed a lot of care behind the work. There were times as I read that I wanted to slip into critique mode. I wanted to make a suggestion here or there to make the stories stronger, or close a plot gap. Things that people have been so generous to do for me as I've worked at my craft. But I couldn't. I had to try my best to don an editor's cap and look at the work as something my livelihood depended on. If that doesn't put it into perspective, I don't know what will.
Can you imagine having to choose the right book or mix of books to put on the market? It may sound like fun, but when I think about it, my stomach churns! It reminds me of when I thought being the President of the US would be fun. Older and hopefully wiser now, I know that I wouldn't want that kind of responsibility--EVER! Okay, so editors don't have the weight of the world on their shoulders, but their choices influence culture, which in turn changes the way people interact with each other. Man alive! No matter how I slice it, the job sounds huge to me. Being a judge in this contest reminded me of how one person can touch another's life from thousands of miles away. Makes me feel big and small at the same time.
I know some of the entrants will be disappointed when the scores are released in late March. They have sent their best work in, and it may come back with less than stellar marks. Honestly, everyone who entered knew that there was a better chance of losing than winning. In fact, the people who final will likely amount to a little more than one percent of all the entries. Just like all of us who are in the query rush. The Bible says, "It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Insert a wannabe published writer for rich man, exchange publishing for kingdom of God, and you've got the jist of the publishing arena. With odds like that, it would be easier to quit or at least find a profession with a better success rate--like teaching wild rabbits to parachute. The problem is, I'm not good at quitting. What can I say? I'm a first-born, and some words are not a part of my vocabulary.
Right now, it's easy to be the optimistic cynic. We'll see what happens when March 26th rolls around. Until that time, I'll focus on moving into a new place, finding a job that will blossom into a career and writing out my characters' stories as they share them with me. That sounds like enough to keep me busy for a lifetime--or twenty some odd days.
19 February 2007
Eight more days....
I have eight days left in my current house, and then the new adventure begins. Eight days to pack, clean and have the house fit for its new family. Anyone who's ever lived in a townhouse will understand how important it is to have good neighbors. I've been so very fortunate to have ones who were polite and kept to themselves. That being said, I don't want to live in a place where I end up packed in like a sardine. I need space to be me.
13 February 2007
More nonsense...
So, I've been away for awhile because I was sick and we've been looking for a house. All this time, I thought my husband and I were on the same page. Thought we wanted the same thing in a home. Boy, was I wrong! Turns out my husband is under the impression that we can buy a mansion while I believe in humble, affordable living. Can you see how this has become an uphill trudge in the snow--both ways!? As if the coming weeks weren't going to be hard enough! I've got Mr. Champagne-Tastes-on-a-Beer-Bottle-Budget to work with. Ugh!!!
Today was really cool. I worked with a group of special needs students at a local elementary school. Having been sick and trying to gear up the house for the move, I've been out of the working loop for a few days. Going back was refreshing. The kids were great--and it was nice for once to be called by my first name as opposed to my surname--made me feel like I was still a person rather than some sort of looming parental object. I love it when I get to work with kids and am asked to return the next day. No, I'm not wishing for teachers to be sick, but it's so nice to have consistency--and a paycheck. So tomorrow, I will be with the kiddies. They will be surprised to see me, but I think they'll be tickled too. For some crazy reason, children like me! Maybe they sense that despite the fact that I'm decades their senior, we're not unalike.
Sorry I've been away so long, dear readers. Surely I flatter myself by being so delusional as to think that someone other than myself reads this blog. But alas, my delusion hurts no one, so I'm sticking with it. As young as spending the day with the children makes me feel, I will feel like Methuselah tomorrow morning if I don't go to bed NOW.
What do you do to feel young and alive?
Today was really cool. I worked with a group of special needs students at a local elementary school. Having been sick and trying to gear up the house for the move, I've been out of the working loop for a few days. Going back was refreshing. The kids were great--and it was nice for once to be called by my first name as opposed to my surname--made me feel like I was still a person rather than some sort of looming parental object. I love it when I get to work with kids and am asked to return the next day. No, I'm not wishing for teachers to be sick, but it's so nice to have consistency--and a paycheck. So tomorrow, I will be with the kiddies. They will be surprised to see me, but I think they'll be tickled too. For some crazy reason, children like me! Maybe they sense that despite the fact that I'm decades their senior, we're not unalike.
Sorry I've been away so long, dear readers. Surely I flatter myself by being so delusional as to think that someone other than myself reads this blog. But alas, my delusion hurts no one, so I'm sticking with it. As young as spending the day with the children makes me feel, I will feel like Methuselah tomorrow morning if I don't go to bed NOW.
What do you do to feel young and alive?
04 February 2007
Scared spitless...
Only twenty-four days left in the month. Just enough time to pack up my old life and move into a new one. We spent the weekend packing, cleaning and doing moverly activities. I surfed the web for new homes, jobs, et cetera. Today, a realtor called to get a better idea of what we're looking for. That's almost like having someone ask what you want for Christmas. What do you say? If you eat every day and have clothes to wear and a shelter to keep you warm at night, what else do you need? Can you tell I suck at answering the Christmas question? I was proud of myself for being able to describe concisely what we need. Now, we'll see how it goes. This coming weekend will be the moment of truth.
In other news, I haven't really spent much time writing. I've been crazy exhausted, and am now sick with what appears to be the beginning of bronchitis. As I don't have time for sickness right now, I'm fighting like a mad woman to keep my body working right. I have one contest entry left to judge--woo hoo! It's all finally winding down.
I keep saying I'm scared. It's like a running theme in my life lately. Actually, I'm not scared so much as nervous, frustrated and anxious. What if I fail? That question spins on a loop in the back of my mind. For the most part, my brain is quiet and lets me forget my fear of floundering. Sometimes, though, like when I'm sick and a captive of my bed, the negativity screams in my head. I can't afford to fail, and I've never been a quitter, so the loop needs to just shut up! I will be fine, my family will be fine, and this episode will become one of life's little benchmarks.
I've left my characters hanging, and I have to wonder if they've moved on without me or if they're having a bit of an intermission while I get my act together. I can just see them pacing the pages, taking a cigarette break, hoping to God I'll finish what I started. Poor guys! And now I've added something else to my cache of distractions--crocheting. I haven't done it in years, needed a scarf, and thought it would be great to make my own. Maybe if I'm feeling super brave, I'll post a picture of it when it's finished.
What do you do when life yanks the rug from under you?
In other news, I haven't really spent much time writing. I've been crazy exhausted, and am now sick with what appears to be the beginning of bronchitis. As I don't have time for sickness right now, I'm fighting like a mad woman to keep my body working right. I have one contest entry left to judge--woo hoo! It's all finally winding down.
I keep saying I'm scared. It's like a running theme in my life lately. Actually, I'm not scared so much as nervous, frustrated and anxious. What if I fail? That question spins on a loop in the back of my mind. For the most part, my brain is quiet and lets me forget my fear of floundering. Sometimes, though, like when I'm sick and a captive of my bed, the negativity screams in my head. I can't afford to fail, and I've never been a quitter, so the loop needs to just shut up! I will be fine, my family will be fine, and this episode will become one of life's little benchmarks.
I've left my characters hanging, and I have to wonder if they've moved on without me or if they're having a bit of an intermission while I get my act together. I can just see them pacing the pages, taking a cigarette break, hoping to God I'll finish what I started. Poor guys! And now I've added something else to my cache of distractions--crocheting. I haven't done it in years, needed a scarf, and thought it would be great to make my own. Maybe if I'm feeling super brave, I'll post a picture of it when it's finished.
What do you do when life yanks the rug from under you?
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