Long time, no hear...

Okay, so it's been a while since I've blogged. I've started a bunch of them and deleted them in the midst of the writing. Today, my goal is to start and finish a blog. People keep asking how the writing's going and it has been great--when it actually happens, that is. I've written a few pages here and there, but I've gotten caught up in Charmed and Love Actually and BBC shows. My focus has temporarily shifted. I've also been doing lots of reading. All of this is good and I feel renewed, but at the same time, I have this prickling guilt at the back of my mind. Christmas cards sit unwritten, I'm about a chapter behind on the writing. I need to work this week, which means once again, the writing will take a backseat.

Maybe part of the problem is that I've finally reached the detached scene I wrote a while ago. When I wrote that, I didn't believe I'd actually get there. Now, I'm here and I don't know where to go and how to maintain the momentum. The crazy bit is that I am still excited about the story. I expected to lose the fervor when I can't hear the story anymore. Remember when I was bitching about the characters whispering? They're still at it, but they are doing it so loud that all their stories are getting jumbled. Truth is, I'm afraid of where they're taking me. They are fiction! And they're confusing my life!

It's not just the writing that's skewed right now. My home life feels as though it's been turned upside down. I cooked another great dinner. We rearranged the house and the kids decorated for the holidays. Doubts about all my pursuits are swirling through my mind, which is making me CRAZY! More rejection letters poured in over the weekend and I don't know if I've processed that whole deal yet. I'm a control freak, and it just feels like everything I touch spins wildly OUT of control. But not in a bad way--just in an every day's-an-adventure sort of way. Could be so much worse.

Wish I had something at least half interesting to offer up, but I am Elayne, the everlasting dullard today. Back to the books, movies, etc. Here's to a happy fruitful week for all of you!